What You Want vs. What You Need

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Back in early 2018, when I started Author Your Life, I was also trying to build a separate business. In my own book, which I called Lara’s Life, I created story after story about how successful the business was. I wrote about my financial abundance. About all the successful webinars I did and about the great products I created for clients.

But no matter how many pages I wore out in Lara’s Life trying to manifest abundance with my company, it didn’t come to pass. I was striving so hard, I was working my tail off, and it was exhausting. Worse, every time I tried something like a class or a webinar, it didn’t just not go well. It was like I was cursed.

Time and time again, I felt not just unsupported by the universe, but actively thwarted. What the heck was going on? This was heartbreaking and infuriating. I thought I had screwed up. I had missed my calling. I’d well and truly hecked up.

Except not quite.

As a result of all this, I really thought about my calling. What was I actually here to do? What brought me joy? One of the things that came up was how much I loved working on Author Your Life. When I thought about what made me happy, it always came back to this book, and the power of words and stories. This was a big sign that Author Your Life was possibly more than just an experiment I was undertaking—it was going to be a way to help others, too. I don’t think I would have ever realized how important Author Your Life was if my business model had succeeded.

The failure of my business in the way I thought it was going to go was a huge lesson for me. At the time, I thought it meant that Author Your Life didn’t work. Now, I see that what I went through is all part of the Hero’s Journey. It means Author Your Life works hella good.

Let me tell you why.

At the start of every journey, the hero thinks they want one thing, but by the end of the tale, the hero realizes they actually want something else entirely. In the first Thor movie, for example, our favorite blond demigod starts out wanting to avenge an act of war against his people. By the end of the movie, his goal is to protect people from war whenever possible and to rule as a wise king. 

The point is not that we get what we want, but that we write and engage the story. The universe will help it be the story we need it to be. I recently heard a Super Soul Conversation, where Oprah interviewed poet Mark Nepo, and he summed it up beautifully in this quote:

“Asking for what we need doesn’t always lead to getting what we need. But the reward for asking for what we need is that we become intimate with our own nature. We learn who we are.”


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Wondering how to connect more to your purpose and jump-start your story? Join my six-week Start Your Story Course to learn how to become the main character in your own real-life adventure. Learn more and register here.